Friday, April 18, 2014

Fog 8 - 4/18/2014

The fruit here is different. Pulpier. Pinker flesh and a different shape. It fills, though. Keeps the hunger at bay, I guess. For all the good that is.

The water's the same. The trees more interesting than the fern-things. And the island is bigger. Much bigger, I suspect. But not so big that the wailing cave isn't constantly mocking me.

This island has trees large enough to form a canopy. Large enough to hide the fog a little, for the lights in the distance to disappear for a bit. It feels more like home than the last place. But not much. It's still alien, still empty, still pointless. My lungs fill and void, my heart pumps blood, my eyelids blink, my jaw chews and my belly growls when I don't put fruit in it.

But there's nothing else. No-one to talk to, nothing I can build, no way to write or draw or make any kind of permanent mark. My nails peel and chip if I try to scratch stone or wood. Even the little piles of tree bark I've managed to collect seem to blow away in the night unless I sleep on top of them. Nothing stays, except me and the place itself.

Without much resembling enthusiasm, I start exploring this little world. The stone, the trees, the moss, it all seems the same after only a few hours.

How do trees grow in stone? There is no dirt, here, nothing for roots to dig into. I wonder if maybe they come out the far side of the rock and dangle in the mist. Maybe they aren't trees, only things that look like trees, act like trees, remain still while I am watching and only seem to be there at all.

I don't think I actually talk with them. In their direction, yes, but I don't really believe that any of them are talking back. No, I don't believe that, even though I can hear them. Even though they know everything that I know. Even though they torment me with lies and fears and dreams and laughter.

No, I do not believe that I talk with the trees. I am certain that I do not believe that I talk with the trees.

I am quite certain that I no longer know what anything is, anymore. I am quite certain that I no longer see real things or hear real sounds. I am quite certain that the earth beneath me is not what it seems to be.

I am also quite certain that I did not pile this little stack of stones on the uttermost point of this little island floating in the fog.


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